Give up said the chimp

Having not run in a while I went out for a lap of Chatelherault with a friend who wanted a nice easy run - just my kind of running.  It had been a while and it was so good to be under the trees when the rain was on.  But by the end I realised how much I'd enjoyed a jog with no pain.
On Saturday there was only one group out and while a few were tapering for IM, the rest were pushing the pace.  I was determined not to be dropped but it didn't take long when we hit the first significant hill and off the back I went.  Enter the chimp. "what are you doing out with these guys, you're going to be dropped on every hill?"  "You could cut off here and head back home" Why are you doing this you're not training for anything?" "Dropped again they must be getting fed up waiting for you, just head home!"  So 3.5 hours of listening to the chimp wasn't much fun but it's something that happens to all of us, especially when we are struggling.  I cope with it because I think it's part of my mental training regime and in endurance sport it makes the difference between success (still breathing at the end and not in hospital or a morgue) and failure - refer to the wording in the brackets!
The following day the chimp and I went out for an 8km trail run.  Going out on my own (and chimp) was a mistake and I had to work hard again ("nobody would know if you walked" - I would and that's what counts).
But the fitness is creeping back and once Tollcross opens again I'll be back in the pool - lot's of hard work ahead in that department!  As for the chimp, I've sent him on holiday because he was exhausted at failing to get me to quit!  To paraphrase a well know "doper", pain is temporary....failure is forever.