Facing my fears

As you know swimming has always been my biggest challenge.  From my first 40m attempt in Strathaven 6 years ago to now getting ready for a 10k open water swim, it's been an interesting journey.  My greatest thrill and fear is when I am in open water and last night in Loch Lomond I started considering what I'd write in this blog, in order to control the other thoughts going on in my head.
Fear isn't rational. The bottom line is when you are in the water in a wetsuit if you get into trouble all you need to do is roll over on your back and you will float. It's that simple. There are no sharks in the water, especially Loch Lomond, and anything that is in there is probably wanting to stay away from you.  But even knowing all of that there are moments when the fear takes over.
Last night there were only 3 of us swimming in Loch Lomond.  There was a course marked out for the Great Scottish Swim so we decided to swim out to the furthest marker. We entered from the slipway to avoid the boulders at our usual entry point. This involved swimming over some weeds in the water which I'm not keen on but again for no good reason. There was a large rusting boat over to the right and I didn't want to look in that direction as I didn't want to see the hull under the water - too many disaster movies going through my head. There were waves hitting me head on at the beginning so it interfered with my breathing.  Soon I was 150m behind my colleagues and I began to think what would happen if I got into trouble - I certainly couldn't catch up with them. What I didn't know was they were keeping an eye on me but my mind was racing through the possibilities, none positive. As a result it's fair to say I wasn't swimming effectively. It's like a vicious circle.
But I started to change my thoughts. How privileged was I to be swimming in such beautiful surroundings. Would I rather be doing this or stuck in a traffic jam or waiting on a delayed plane or even worse lying I'll in hospital? I should be considering myself lucky. The water is so clean and is supporting my body. I started to work on my body position and glide through the water imagining I was a seal. Before I knew it I was at the far away turn point and met my 2 pals.
All the fear had gone. We agreed to swim across the course to other buoys and ended up zig zagging across the loch. The distance was immaterial and it seemed effortless. I felt wonderful, alive and happy as we cut across the loch. As we headed in I tried to ignore the big rusting boat and the weeds but was very aware of them.
Open water swimming is exhilarating and part of that is because it involves risk.  When I was in the middle of the loch I felt vulnerable but that was because I was allowing my fear to get to me. In reality being in my wetsuit with 2 strong swimmers nearby was all the protection I needed. You have to make sure you have the safety aspects covered and if you do then relax and enjoy the experience. In 2 weeks time I will be taking part in a 5k race as part of my preparation for my 10k swim the following week.  The challenge will be hundreds of swimmers having a punch up and some swimming over you so I just have to control my mind.  It's all a learning experience but despite my initial fears I know they will fade and I can relax and enjoy the freedom of my swim. I hope my thoughts will resonate with you and if you have similar fears, give you hope that it can be fun. Swim safe and enjoy.

Supporting role

This has been a good week for the swimming.  Big "k's" put in this week including an OW swim on Loch Lomond where I could have surfed the waves!  It wasn't nice but it had to be done.  On our triangular circuit I was being slapped on the right side on the outward leg, face on in the 2nd leg and the wave was coming over my head on the homeward straight.  The first lap was definitely the worst.  I had no rhythm and was probably lashing out at the water and dropped well behind my swimming partners.  When swimming on such a large expanse of dark water I don't like being left behind and that feeling of fear doesn't help your swimming.
By the second lap I was in "the groove" humming the theme tune to Hawaii 5 0 and that seemed to help until I remembered they had sharks out there.  This was one of those sessions you just had to do and will be good preparation should I come across conditions like that agian. 
One swimmer went in after 2 laps looking grey and feeling sea sick so that kind of confirms what it was like.  So 3 laps in and nobody felt like a 4th so off for fish and chips.
Today I had the privilege of being the support for the ATHelite relay team who were taking part in the Round Strathaven 50 race.  Conditions were tough and at times they felt like they were running in a wind tunnel. The 5 runners had different distances to run with different profiles and bad weather conditions to run in.  I made sure they got to the start of their leg and go them home.  They all "bust a gut" and I took the opportunity of taking pictures with my zoom lense.  This allowed me to see the pained expression in there faces as they gave everything and I felt so proud to be part of that team, even if I was just the driver.
I was meant to be running in the race by the old hammy ruled that out.  But it was inspirational watching them fight the conditions and give 100%.  Well done team ATHelite.  The runners were joined by cyclists and they really had to dig deep to cope with the wind.  But they did so, and a big well done to them too.  So even though I am not "inside the ropes" competing, by supporting I felt motivated to get sorted and get back out there.

Road to recovery

It's been an interesting week.  The good news is that I improved on my pool swim times from the previous week.  It just goes to prove that if you get in the pool and work hard you will get better/faster/fitter.  I came out of the pool knowing I was faster and feeling less tired.  I was so happy.
I was also happy having had the all clear on my neck from my chiropractor Gill Dingwall but she has recommended after my 10k swim I pay her another visit.  She suggested I may have a bit of tension in my neck & shoulders!
Then I went to see the physio (we can rebuild him!).  John is so laid back but I could see he was concerned that there was still swelling after 14 weeks.  He conducted a strength test on my hamstring - there wasn't any.  Weak as a new born lamb.  This is going to take time.  His view on what I should do differs from my consultant.  John would like me to keep the hamstring active with some cycling and running so I'm going to split the difference and start turbo training.  This should keep it active while not straining it.
I will also be doing some resistance exercises to help regain the strength in the hamstring.
On Friday night I had a good swim at Loch Lomond and was pleased with comments from other swimmers that I was swimming strong - thanks guys.  Only 34 days to go and I've booked a 5k race the weekend before just to have a "dry run" of a punch up with a load of others dressed in rubber.
However on Saturday I played golf and by the 15th hole was limping.  Who'd have thought golf was so physical on my hamstring?  It's really not feeling great so it's just as well I've pulled out of the 50 mile relay race next weekend.  team ATHelite will do great and I'll play a supporting role but not running.
The chances of me running the Ocean Floor Race (www.oceanfloorrace.com) in March 2015 are now almost nil but I am going to give it till the end of September before I make my final decision.  In the meantime I am going to shift the half a stone of "cruise excess" off my middle which I am very unhappy about.  But without more regular strenuous exercise it isn't easy.  But I like a challenge!

Swimming challenge

With swimming as my only training option (and yoga) I spoke to my coach in Canada and she put together a training schedule to try and get me fit enough to complete a 10km race in 6 weeks time.  I really haven't done enough swimming this year so getting back in the pool after 3 weeks off wasn't going to be easy - and it wasn't.  The total distance for the set was 3,000m which was a 50% increase on my longest swim this year.  But it had to be done.
500m warm up, 5 x 200m, 10 x 100m & 500 warm down.  All timed however my coaches targets were a bit ambitious as she had set them based on my Ironman time 2 years ago when I was in a lot better shape.  But now I've established the baseline I just need to get faster.  Having a programme to follow certainly got me focused.
The following day I went to Loch Lomond and swam3,600m.  Open water swimming is different and the wetsuit certainly makes it easier.  You have to overcome the fear that sometime sneaks into your head especially when you are swimming away from the shore and the water gets darker, deeper and colder.  Your mind can play tricks but mine was fully occupied as I was being given some tips from the club swim coach Nicola.  She was swimming next to me getting me to follow her cadence, trying to get me to slow down and be more efficient.  It worked and it also helped me relax in the water.
I'll be back in the water tomorrow as my schedule is to swim 4 days a week splitting my time between the pool and the open water.
I have also started to build in my yoga which will help the recovery of my hamstring and improve my core strength.  I've got an appointment booked with the physio later this week and am treating the swelling with heat & cold, twice a day.  Hopefully this will start to help the hamstring recover.